


Birds of a feather

by camt55



Category: Blackadder, HPHM - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hogwarts Mystery
Genre: Gen, Video Game: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, year 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 13:50:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16388900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camt55/pseuds/camt55
Summary: Merula teaches math to Barnaby.





	Birds of a feather

Merula Snyde was not the most popular girl at Hogwarts. That was Penny Haywood. She was not the best witch of her year either, no matter what she kept saying. That title went to Beaumont, curse-breaker extraordinaire. On the other hand, she was by far the best student of her year in Slytherin. That transpired from her very first year at the wizarding school…

One Saturday afternoon of her first year, she was busy showing some basic mathematics to Barnaby Lee, as he had nearly caused an explosion for miscalculating the number of horned slugs needed for the Cure for Boils potion. She didn’t particularly want to help, but because that could make Slytherin loose more points in the future, Felix Rosier, her prefect, had forced her to do so.

“Right Barnaby, let’s try again, shall we? This is called adding,” she began, pointing at the beans on the table, “If I have two beans, and then I add two more, what do I have?”

“Some beans,” Barnaby replied proudly.

Merula let out a sight. This was going to take the entirety of the weekend. “Yesss… and no. Let’s try again, shall we? I have two beans; then I add two more beans. What does that make?”

“A very small casserole?” Barnaby pondered.

“Barnaby. Trolls have mastered this. Now try again,” she said, sounding more and more impatient as she helped him count. “One, two, three… four. So, how many are there?”

“Three!” Barnaby said, beaming.

“What?” Merula exclaimed.

“And that one,” continued Barnaby, indicating the bean Merula had pointed out as “four.”

“Three… and that one…” Merula said, her patience running short as she angrily grabbed the fourth bean. “So if I add the three to that one, what will I have?!”

“Some beans!” exclaimed Barnaby, not noticing Merula’s murderous glare.

Merula took a deep breath. “Yes. To your family, Barnaby, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn’t it?”

Barnaby looked at Merula with a puzzled look, and as Merula was about to start the lesson again, Liz, known by many as Lizard, entered the common room with a rather wide neck ruff. Around her neck.

Merula stared at her, her eyes widening. “You look like a bird who’s swallowed a plate.”

“It’s the latest fashion according to the Baron, actually. And as a matter of fact, it makes me look rather fetching!” stated Liz.

“The Baron? As in the Bloody Baron? He’s been dead for centuries! What does he know about the latest fashion? As for looking fetching, to another plate-swallowing bird, perhaps. If it was blind,” Merula said.

“I think you may be wrong!” Liz exclaimed, looking at her vague reflection in the window.

“You’re a sad, laughable figure, aren’t you, Liz? Barnaby, what do you think of Lizard’s neck ruff?” Merula asked.

“Four!” exclaimed Barnaby who had not followed the conversation and had instead focused his attention on the beans in front of him.

“What?” Merula asked.

“Some beans and some beans is four!” said Barnaby, a wide smile plastered on his face.

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake… No, now we’ve moved on - from advanced mathematics to elementary dressmaking. What do you think of Liz’s neck ruff?” asked Merula, pinching the bridge of her nose in an attempt to maintain her composure.

“I think she looks like a bird who’s swallowed a plate,” said Barnaby.

“No, that’s what I think. What do you think? Try to have a thought of your own; thinking is so important. What do you think?”

“I think thinking is so important,” repeated Barnaby.

Merula bit into her fist, wondering why she had to be surrounded by moronic buffoons. “I give up! I’m off to bother a Gryffindor!” she exclaimed, exasperated.

“Should I come too?” asked Barnaby.

“No, best not. People might think we’re friends. You stay here with Lizard. Bird-Neck and Bird-Brain should get on like a house on fire,” Merula replied as she left the common room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little while later, as Penny, Rowan, and Alice were walking down a corridor talking about the vaults, they observed Merula talking to herself.

“Started talking to yourself, Snyde?” Penny sniggered.

“Yes, it’s the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation around here!” replied Merula.

As Merula walked away, the other three girls saw Liz in her neck ruff and Barnaby counting beans walk by.

“I think Salazar Slytherin forgot about one major downside regarding blood purity when he was advocating for it,” said Alice, as she looked at all three Slytherins.

“What would that be?” asked Rowan.

“Inbreeding,” replied Alice as the other two nodded.

——————————————

_**A/N** : This was inspired by [Blackadder II](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikiquote.org%2Fwiki%2FBlackadder%23Blackadder_II&t=NmZiMzFiNGUzOGQ0NWFhODY4ZGM2ODNjZjExOTc5NGIxZjM4ZTA3ZixjY056OXhJYw%3D%3D&b=t%3Ay2gnoEA9XY-s4DQPm55CSA&p=https%3A%2F%2Falice-beaumont-ravenclaw.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176413767469%2Fbirds-of-a-feather&m=1). I couldn’t help but imagine Merula say those things to Barnaby, and I can totally imagine Liz taking fashion advice from a ghost. I could have written it in the same format as most incorrect quotes, but I thought it might be interesting to write a story around it. Also, no hate for Slytherins out there. Alice is just questioning Salazar’s advocacy for blood purity after observing three Slytherins acting oddly. Can’t really blame her for that._


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